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Monoblogue: Thanks, Neil Armstrong!
A study shows that eating walnuts could improve semen quality. No, you idiot, the regular ones, not Paulie…
Penn State won’t play certain songs any more at games, like “Sweet Caroline,” because of it’s, “Touching me, touching you” lyrics. I guess they won’t be having any concerts there by The Strokes.
Women in Togo are threatening a week-long sex strike over a political issue. American men married more than ten years are booking flights to Togo to meet women who are gonna want sex next week.
Thanks a lot, Neil Armstrong – you’ve gotta lot of nerve; now I’m gonna have to hear, “Walking on the Moon” and the REM moon song, and that goddamn “Rocket Man” everywhere I turn for the next few weeks!
Scientists have found mutant butterflies near the Fukushima nuclear disaster. When asked if he thought they’d eventually find more mutations, the lead scientist replied, “Yes, I’d bet my right arm on it; well, all three of them.
A man was removed from a crowded plane in Orlando after bringing 27 snakes on board. Flight Attendant: “I told him, “Listen, young man; if you didn’t bring enough snakes for everybody…”
“Lance Armstrong Banned from Cycling for Life” So, is Lance even allowed to ride, like, an old two wheeler with a banana seat, like, around his neighborhood and stuff?
Neil Berliner is a writer for the syndicated late-night comedy talk show, The John Kerwin Show. He is a practicing M.D. and comedy writer, and has written aired lines for 11 major roasts since 2006 including Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Mario Batali, Andy Dick, Pat Cooper, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. Join Neil on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.