Five years ago, nothing in your world required “Asiago.”
John Kerry: “Yeah, Secretary of State works for me. Foreigners will think I’m the president, right?”
Hey, Mayans: Could you at least have made, “Parking Wars” disappear?
The only reason to watch a Jets game now is to see Sanchez and Tebow on the sidelines holding clipboards, and Ryan updating his résumé.
Natalie Merchant has fewer side-effects than Ambien.
Hopefully, your friends and relatives won’t remember who gave them that unpaid for gift card!
Tagg Romney said his dad never wanted to be president. What he should’ve said was, “Why did you two imbeciles name me “Tagg?”
Yeah, I’m smart. But not, like, “Alvin Einstein smart.”
Healthy, happy and funny 2013 everybody! – NB
Neil Berliner is a writer for the syndicated late-night comedy talk show, The John Kerwin Show. He is a practicing M.D. and comedy writer, and has written aired lines for 11 major roasts since 2006 including Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Mario Batali, Andy Dick, Pat Cooper, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. Join Neil on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.
