A $366 million Powerball winner wants to remain anonymous. One clue might be that the school janitor who quit last week now drives three different Lamborghinis and is dating a Kardashian.

Newt Gingrich said he'd like for Brad Pitt to play him in a movie. Yeah, the Brad Pitt that looks exactly like Phillip Seymour Hoffman!

I wonder if Flo, the Progressive Insurance Girl, ever called Geico, just to check...Hostess Cakes, the bankrupt manufacturer of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and Ho Hos will keep baking them. "Our coffers may be empty, but we'll keep...

...if you get invited to a New Year's party, you are so just a replacement for someone way cooler than you who has already declined.

If you'd like to participate in Trump's debate, dial 1-999-OPPOSSUMWIG. Desperate. Call immediately.